There was some weird karma hovering over the opening of Dancing With the Stars’ Season 7 debut tonight. Perhaps the weirdest moments came from the oldest contestant, Cloris Leachman. Her introduction was all classy and awww, how cool it was to see an octogenarian compete. She danced a graceful enough foxtrot with her partner Corky “Mark’s Papa” Ballas. Once the dance finished, the charming old lady was replaced with a leg-flashing, boob-shaking old character who swore a blue streak when she got crappy marks.  
     Comedian Jeffrey Ross was sporting a sequined eye patch. And no, it wasn’t in response to Talk Like a Pirate Day a couple days earlier. Edyta scratched his cornea during practice. His dance was probably more painful though, to viewers. He then approached the judges and flashed his leg at Bruno Tonioli, groped him and then made a comment about disco pants and how his balls fit in them.
     Bruno later told Kim Kardashian that she needed to show her stuff, unleash her inner slut, so to speak.
This was followed by Susan Lucci proving why she’ll never ever EVER win an Emmy for her dancing on the show. She also said she be a slut for Bruno.
     Uh, I wish I was making this stuff up.
     There was some good dancing thankfully. Maksim, as always, made his dance partner shine, even though Misty May-Treanor’s broad shoulders got in the way. Brooke Burke has had how many kids? And she can move like that?!!! To me the freshest look on the dance floor was Lance Bass and his partner Lacey Schwimmer who brought an aggressive punk-like attitude to the cha-cha. Terrific!
    As the third-person invoking Slade of Project Runway might say … this season is already totally whackadoodle!