SEMIFINALS: The final four — Richard, Stephanie, Antonia and Lisa — regrouped after some time off in Puerto Rico. Lisa was sporting a new, tough-love haircut to accentuate that she was ready to rumble and had the tostones to do so. Wait, that was the Quickfire Challenge. They four had to come up with a fresh take on the fried smashed plantain treat. Stephanie, who’d never made a tostone, won the challenge.
     The Elimination Challenge was to celebrate Puerco Rican cuisine, pun intended, by butchering a whole pig and making three dishes to serve to a cocktail party that included the First Lady. Each chef got to pick one of the previously dismissed chefs, and Stephanie had first choice. She chose Dale, and together they worked on a pork satay on a sugar cane skewer, coconut braised pork, plantain blini and what looked like a promising side of pork rubbed with intriguing spices. Problem was, Dale forgot to put it in the fridge before they left for the night. Stephanie refused to serve it and they had to improvise on the spot. Dale came to her rescue by suggesting a salad using chiccarones on top.
     Richard and Spike served up fresh ham with local beans, pressured cooked pork belly, and pork ribs glazed with malta (a beverage) and coffee and cinnamon. Antonia and Nikki made a rustic meal of pigeon peas with pork sausage, pork belly fruit salad and cured pork with pumpkin and yucca. Former archenemies Lisa and Andrew went whole hog for Puerto Rican cuisine creating a citrus braised pork belly tostone, braised pork belly and rellenos with pork. 
     Antonia made the fatal mistake of undercooking her pigeon peas. (Hey, it’s a major offense with this crowd.) The judges deemed her meal “least sophisticated.” Richard won for his great flavors that blended his home traditions with the environment he was in. And to sweeten the deal, he won a new car.

FINALS: The final three had to make a four-course meal for nine guests (black tie), including some top chefs in their own right and their three sous chefs for the start of the challenge: April Bloomfield, Dan Barber and Eric Ripert. The meal had to include a fish, poultry and red meat entree as well as dessert.
     Of course there was a twist. After having the great sous chefs for the first day, they were taken away and the contestants were on their own. The result was a less inspired finale than I’ve seen on other seasons. There was no hands-down winner. Each chef had moments of brilliance (unfortunately too few for Richard, who fell on his Santoku and choked, even though they loved his vanilla bacon ice cream — shades of Marcel’s avocado bacon recipe). It was then a debate among the judges whether they’d prefer Lisa’s fiery (just like her) meal or Stephanie’s simpler, cleaner tastes. Lisa looked like she might pull off a huge upset, her food appeared to be the strongest, but perhaps because she had a much better record of wins, Stephanie took the crown.
     Until next season, last one out of the kitchen please turn the lights off…

ELIMINATION: Next the chefs were taken to Chef Tramonto’s steakhouse where they were to cook an appetizer and entree to serve to real customers plus three VIPs: the current three Top Chefs — Harold Dieterle, Ilan Hall and Hung Huynh.
     Because he won the first challenge, Spike had the advantage of selecting proteins and ingredients first. He grabbed frozen scallops (to the overt eyebrow raising of the others) and the tomahawk steaks. Lisa selected shrimp and New York strip steaks. Antonia went for the rib eyes, eggs and veggies. Stephanie took tenderloin and sweetbreads. Richard planned a hamachi with sweetbreads appetizer and beef tenderloin.
     Chef Tom Colicchio announces he will expedite the meals. It is his duty to call out the orders to chefs and make sure they arrive in a timely fashion. Oh, and by the way chefs, we need six tasting portions for the VIPS, Padma, Gail and Richard.
     Lisa won praise for the lemon sauce on her shrimp but the fact that they were cold turned off the judges. Her strip steak was served with a spicy apple caramel sauce with a side of peanut butter mashed potatoes (that they wanted to hate, but loved). Unfortunately her dishes were not balanced enough for the judges. Chef Tramonto said he would put Richard’s appetizer on his menu today, he loved it so much, but again his meat was undercooked. Antonia’s perfectly poached egg on her mushroom and artichoke salad was appreciated, but her rib eyes with a shallot/potato gratin was praised for its fattiness (maybe a bit rich for some). Stephanie displayed a culinary side not known to the judges with her crisp sweet & sour veal sweetbreads with fennel, pine nuts and haricot vert. Harold called it “impressive,” Hung praised its tartness and crunchiness. The judges loved her tenderloin with wild mushrooms saying everything in it was compatible. Spike, whose scallops turned into a nightmare, was admonished for choosing a bad ingredient to start with, then he sniped if they were so bad why were they in Richard’s freezer? Meeeeeooow! {Ding! That takes the season’s prize for top snarkiness to the judges!} He added sweet potato puree, Brussels sprouts and cipolle to his tomahawk steak dish. The judges called it too sweet, and would have preferred the meat alone.
     Stephanie earned her place in the Final Four for having the most well-rounded menu. Richard got in for his appetizer; Antonia got in for her fattylicious entree. And the knife fell on Spike, who’d been in the bottom group seven times. Lisa, thanks to some bum scallops and a cocky chef, you’re one lucky gal! On to the finals in Puerto Rico!

ELIMINATION: Bring on da restaurant wars, Chicagah-style! The chefs were directed to an open space, big enough for two dining rooms to be set up with a kitchen for both teams to share. Antonia’s prize was getting to choose her team for the challenge, and without missing a beat, she returned to her wedding wars compadres Stephanie and Richard. That meant oil and water (Dale and Lisa) would mix it up in the kitchen once again with Mr. Goofball (the ever slippery Spike) in the shadows. Stephanie and Spike both took on the front of the house posts. Each team got $1,500 for food for about 35 diners and $5,000 at Pier One to decorate.
     Warehouse Kitchen (Team Antonia) opted for an elegant menu in casual atmosphere. Mai Buddha (Team Dale) opted for Asian cuisine in an elegant setting. Chef Anthony Bourdain — filling in for Colicchio who was called away to a charity function — saw that as a fatal flaw. He felt the Asian setting should be more modest, one in which you’d feel comfortable with greasy dumpling running down your face. The decor was setting them up for higher expectations.
     The episode’s twist was that each team got a choice of one set of helping hands from former contestants Mark, Andrew, Jenn or Nikki. Since Team Antonia was cooking linguine and clams and forgot to buy pasta, she picked Nikki the pastameister to help them out. Dale picked Jenn.
     Warehouse Kitchen’s menu started with a choice of beet salad with boucheron goat cheese and ras el hanout spices or linguine with clams, sausage and horseradish creme fraiche. Next was a choice of trout with caramelized and pureed cauliflower or lamb squared (pieces of loin and shank). For dessert they offered a savory Gorgonzola cheesecake with sweet potato puree and concord grape sauce or Richard’s reprise of his banana “scallops” with chocolate ice cream.
     Mai Buddha’s menu began with a choice of prawn laksa soup or homemade pork dumplings. The main course was a choice of braised short ribs or butterscotch miso scallops. To finish the meal, they offered Dale’s halo-halo with cantaloupe, coconut, avocado, kiwi and candied cashews or Lisa’s Mango sticky rice.
     With the tension setting the other team up in flames, Warehouse had an easy victory. The judges liked the surprise of sausage added to the linguine and clams, the presentation of the trout (with the skin still on), and the blend of flavors in the savory cheesecake. They did not like the smear of chocolate ice cream for… ahem… aesthetic reasons. Stephanie won for her cheesecake and clam dishes.
     Good comments for Mai Buddha were scant. Chef Bourdain called the butterscotched scallops “Willy Wonka” — like a melted candy bar. Chef Jose Andreas said nothing seemed to work in the dish. As for the laksa, Bourdain said it was so smoky it was like “putting your nose in a campfire.” And the other diners especially hated Lisa’s mango sticky rice that they called “baby food garnished with potpourri.” {shudder!} The judges complimented Spike’s “guile or luck” that made him know it would be smart to be MIA from the kitchen and a good day to be in the dining room.
     It came down to Dale complaining that Lisa was the weakest link, and Lisa countering that a team is only as good as its leader. Buh-bye, Dale! (Too bad — even though he was surly, he was often a great cook.)